oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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