When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
