We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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