I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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