i just had sex bonerless
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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