i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
