I'm really into asian looking animals
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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