all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
