Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
