If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
