omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
