problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
