Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
