she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
