The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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