Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
