I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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