I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was