Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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  (215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am. http://tfl.nu/p45r
  Replies (26) Good night (4704) Bad night (2304)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  six.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh, I thought it was higher.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  No, that would be the Matt's

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  (904): Another one? Damn, how many David's is that? (1-904): six. (904): Oh, I thought it was higher. (1-904): No, that would be the Matt's http://tfl.nu/8llg
  Replies (33) Good night (6772) Bad night (1653)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

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  (610): I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/pqr9
  Replies (5) Good night (2625) Bad night (1636)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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  (703): i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me http://tfl.nu/57r1
  Replies (1) Good night (2090) Bad night (878)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.

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  (+27): He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy. http://tfl.nu/pi4j
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (866)
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  (949): View more from California

  Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?

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  (949): Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday? http://tfl.nu/2an5
  Replies (7) Good night (1280) Bad night (784)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

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  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (7) Good night (1750) Bad night (828)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.

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  (320): Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house. http://tfl.nu/jt6d
  Replies (10) Good night (1575) Bad night (607)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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  (773): He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof. http://tfl.nu/nzip
  Replies (5) Good night (1325) Bad night (490)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.

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  (202): He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot. http://tfl.nu/ubxb
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (1327)
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  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (380)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.

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  (515): I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me. http://tfl.nu/axuf
  Replies (10) Good night (441) Bad night (1391)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Coming.

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  (318): I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this. (504): Coming. http://tfl.nu/0nn7
  Replies (8) Good night (1363) Bad night (435)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

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  (+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (298)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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  (289): One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes. http://tfl.nu/z7m3
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (218)

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