Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

(1-641): View more from Iowa

STOP listening to that song

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

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(518): View more from New York

You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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(707): View more from California

At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?

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