Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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  (724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am. http://tfl.nu/33o2
  Replies (61) Good night (30841) Bad night (1365)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

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  (905): Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke http://tfl.nu/irbx
  Replies (33) Good night (3026) Bad night (569)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

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  (419): How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles? http://tfl.nu/1dpq
  Replies (12) Good night (1400) Bad night (4257)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits

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  (615): of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits http://tfl.nu/a8zr
  Replies (29) Good night (1583) Bad night (7584)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Why are you covered in frosting?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.

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  (952): Why are you covered in frosting? (262): Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy. http://tfl.nu/9hct
  Replies (24) Good night (6341) Bad night (927)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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  (281): Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up. http://tfl.nu/tbqv
  Replies (18) Good night (1177) Bad night (3730)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, be my cock's hype man.

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  (732): You know, be my cock's hype man. http://tfl.nu/5yns
  Replies (3) Good night (2547) Bad night (777)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1111) Bad night (4465)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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  (313): Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes. http://tfl.nu/gyak
  Replies (8) Good night (3468) Bad night (1421)
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  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

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  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (1943) Bad night (607)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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  (954): in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume. http://tfl.nu/xcgb
  Replies (8) Good night (3416) Bad night (567)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now

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  (541): It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now http://tfl.nu/avxl
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (874)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

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  (713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (509)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

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  (407): and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends. http://tfl.nu/08f5
  Replies (1) Good night (1019) Bad night (326)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...

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  (360): Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys... http://tfl.nu/6y99
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (375)

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