Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i think i have two assholes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i think i have two assholes http://tfl.nu/b4sn
  Replies (67) Good night (778) Bad night (4553)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it. http://tfl.nu/a1l8
  Replies (7) Good night (4771) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy
  Replies (38) Good night (2492) Bad night (7736)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag. http://tfl.nu/yqo6
  Replies (72) Good night (1353) Bad night (16293)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time http://tfl.nu/x6gg
  Replies (21) Good night (1104) Bad night (5464)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics http://tfl.nu/ne8m
  Replies (16) Good night (4269) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis. http://tfl.nu/m4yy
  Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (2916)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester... http://tfl.nu/gus9
  Replies (4) Good night (2692) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet http://tfl.nu/3286
  Replies (5) Good night (2110) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/nznf
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx
  Replies (5) Good night (487) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that http://tfl.nu/fcdo
  Replies (8) Good night (472) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night" http://tfl.nu/00ak
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night. http://tfl.nu/4hgv
  Replies (7) Good night (415) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head." http://tfl.nu/sgl1
  Replies (8) Good night (659) Bad night (275)

Randomize