I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat