Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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(843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr

Replies (56) Good night (6577) Bad night (1335)
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(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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(419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc

Replies (88) Good night (7549) Bad night (1484)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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(651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e

Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (3993)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me

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(513): Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me http://tfl.nu/vfre

Replies (13) Good night (3426) Bad night (1812)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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(541): I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me. http://tfl.nu/habi

Replies (16) Good night (3710) Bad night (1084)
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(770): View more from Georgia

To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.

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(770): To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present. http://tfl.nu/n1ow

Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (2484)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem

Replies (11) Good night (2500) Bad night (811)
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(905): View more from Ontario

It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on

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(905): It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on http://tfl.nu/h715

Replies (9) Good night (2119) Bad night (1314)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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(902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy

Replies (5) Good night (1010) Bad night (561)
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(406): View more from Montana

I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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(406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk

Replies (8) Good night (3340) Bad night (581)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?

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(410): Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole? http://tfl.nu/dt20

Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (620)
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(518): View more from New York

The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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(518): The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/6fga

Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (1307)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.

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(780): lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic. http://tfl.nu/pqzx

Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (425)
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(212): View more from New York

TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."

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(212): TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man." http://tfl.nu/a530

Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (319)
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(914): View more from New York

my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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(914): my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/thk6

Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (279)

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