i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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