I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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