My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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