i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
