At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
