He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
