How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
