I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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