you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
