the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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