Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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