rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize