It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
