tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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