So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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