I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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