the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
