he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
