dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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