I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
