I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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