Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As shirtless as possible
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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