You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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