I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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