I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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