Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
