I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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