we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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