Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
