his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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