Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
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I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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