Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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