you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
