So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
