we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
