so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Fuck appropriateness.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
