I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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