Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
