i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
