remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize