My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
