once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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