Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
