i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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