how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
