just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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