First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
