Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
