everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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